A Promise in the Dark

"Can’t count on you most of all when I really need it. It’s the simple things that you do really hurt my feelings. The more I try, the more I’m starting to see it. This can’t work any more than you believe it. Goodbye may come as a shock. Even though I love you a lot. I’ve given every breath I’ve got. Sometimes you gotta break down and breathe. And how many times I gave my heart? To how many times we fell apart? And it equals a promise in the dark. So don’t promise me. And how many times I gave you me? Divided by so many memories. And it equals a promise in the dark. So don’t promise me. I just don’t know what the problem is, what the deal is. Was I there too much, did I move too fast, I couldn’t see it? All these promises are probably how you deal with it. I’m tired of hearing you say you're innocent. Don’t think I forgot, because I really didn’t. Who cares if you’re lying or not? I’ve given every breath I’ve got. Sometimes you gotta break down and breathe. We all make mistakes. Sometimes we do desperate things. What does it prove? NOTHING. Then what took you so long? Cuz I keep, keep hanging on."

It's time to let go of all the people I knew who hurt me. It's time to let go of the times that made me sad. It's time to let go of all the people who have made me feel forgotten. It's time to let go of such a tight grip on something that's indifferent. It's time to let go of the people who make me feel like I'm a failure with their condescending tone and painful words. It's time to let go of someone who doesn't love the person that I am.

I've given up on holding on to you.. and you.. and you. If you don't care then why the hell am I trying so hard? I don't care what you say, I deserve better than that. There's a countless number of strangers in my future who are merely friends waiting to be met. I'm not going to waste anymore time with you, when all you do is make me feel alone. And unless you can change and show me what I deserve, I'm already gone.

"I didn't know love could hurt more than hatred or anger. combined." -- tm

Overpowering.

What do I do when I want to talk to one of my bestfriends about my troubles.. but I can't? Because I know you'd spill the beans to the one person I don't want you to tell? All he would have to do is ask. I know there's other people I can talk to.. but it'd be different if I was able to talk to you.. I would feel so much better. I miss the days when I could talk to you about anything. They did exist..once upon a time. I miss not having to worry about what you'll say to him. Because you could say anything you want.. and I would never really know. I just always have this horrible piercing feeling in the pits of my stomach. I miss feeling comfortable around you.

This is gonna sound really bad. If I could chose which friends to love and have in my life.. I wouldn't chose you. But I can't chose when it comes to love. Because my heart overpowers my mind when it comes to my relationships with other people. And I don't know if that's a crime. But it sure is saving your ass.