Tuesday, August 19, 2008

compassion and fear

ME (11:22:19 PM): lately ive been praying. not for things to be good, but just for strength.
ME (11:22:29 PM): to be able to deal with whatever comes.
FRIEND (11:22:55 PM): thats good that you mention that
FRIEND (11:23:14 PM): i was once told that god rarely gives strength to those who ask
FRIEND (11:23:19 PM): for the will to continue.
FRIEND (11:24:04 PM): i asked, why would he do that?
FRIEND (11:24:22 PM): they said because the strength and will is already in all of us.
FRIEND (11:24:38 PM): it isn't a matter of deciding when and how to use this,
FRIEND (11:25:00 PM): its the realization that this power is in all of us, ready to be accepted, ready to change the world
FRIEND (11:25:17 PM): so you don't need any more strength rona

you know, i never thought about it that way. maybe thats why no matter how many times i pray, or how hard i pray, i havent really been able to find that satisfaction in life. im looking for all the wrong things. i shouldnt pray for strength, he says, but for the realization that i have the power to use the strength hidden within me, to change the world around me. last wednesday when i went to church, i prayed (for the sevenhundredth time) for strength. i asked God to give me the strength to move on past whatever hits me; the strength to accept change as it comes in this vital point of my life. but my friend says i shouldnt pray for strength. i just need to find it..
when i go to church again tomorrow, i shall pray for something different.

FRIEND (11:47:16 PM): i believe in rona
FRIEND (11:48:02 PM): you are genuine, emotional, fun loving, respectable, respected, and a girl who isn't afraid to be afraid
FRIEND (11:48:35 PM): listen to what [he] says,
FRIEND (11:48:41 PM): what friends say.
ME (11:48:51 PM): a lot of them believe i create problems..
FRIEND (11:49:01 PM): i don't
FRIEND (11:49:04 PM): i promise you.
FRIEND (11:49:13 PM): you're willing to face them
FRIEND (11:49:41 PM): to me, its terrible and inhuman to hide something as genuine as compassion, or as strong as fear

1 comment:

Shane said...

woahh... you were awake at that time?