Saturday, April 4, 2009


no one ever thinks about how important breathing is. it's such an involuntary part of being alive that is taken for granted. every breath of air you take in is vital to your health. the taking in of oxygen and getting rid of carbon dioxide.. is only something you think about if it's for a biology or anatomy class. last night, i thought about breathing. being miserably ill with a cold, it's extremely difficult to sleep when you cant breathe. i thought about how i couldnt inhale and exhale deeply without exploding into a coughing fit. this kept me up all night. i feel as if my abs have had a work out from doubling up so much. but anyway, breathing. you never fully acknowledge the importance of something until it's out of your grasp. not being able to breathe last night kept me tossing and turning.. and thinking. sleep would not come, mucus kept pouring out of my nose, and my eyes kept darting back and forth to my phone (to check the time of course..). the last time i remember is 2:47 am. i went to bed around after dinner time.. and i am up early because my bed is incapable of satisfying me with sleep, and diminishing the feelings of loneliness inside, lying in the dark, coughing up my soul. dramatic much, i know, but i am bursting with suppressed emotion at the moment. i cant breathe and it's killing me. the lack of my source of life makes me feel insignificant and hopeless. having to deal with this change on my own, makes me feel very alone.

metaphors are awesome, especially when the reality works both ways.

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