thoughts.

People always tell you to find a career that fits your passions. That way, you would go to work every day happy. To be honest, I'm too afraid of pursuing my passions. It's not a stable path. Not that anything in life is stable, but still; in my opinion, the entertainment business is one of the most unstable. Who am I kidding. The real reason I don't want to pursue my passions is because I'm afraid of losing it. My fear of failure runs deep and I would much rather love a hobby for the rest of my life, than attempt to pursue my passion, fail, and forever lose my passions. This is a risk I am not willing to take.

I had my first clubbing experience last Thursday. I went to Club Social in Hollywood. It was sort of a last minute decision [it's a long boring story I'd rather not get into], so I didn't have anything to wear. I ended up having to buy a shirt from Guess. I wore boots to the club, and to be honest, I felt really self conscious about it the whole night. Haha. I would rather have been wearing nice heels and a dress. Nonetheless, it was a fun night. It wasn't as intense as I expected my first clubbing experience to be. I definitely want to go again hahha.

I really want to get out of the house. I want freedom. Money really does make the world go round. It sucks. But having money means having a life. I need another job because working weekends for Cutesygirl isn't going to be enough for gas, books, food money, and everything else. I'm stressed out about money at the moment. Managing money is the drawback of growing up. Ugh, so stressful.

I messed up my beautiful Subaru again. I hate myself.