everybody thinks im just a lucky bastard.
even the one person who's supposed to make me feel good about myself..
one day im going to prove them all wrong, and everyone will see that i deserved it.
how do you help someone who doesnt appreciate your efforts? how do you help someone who expects you to be there for them, when they dont try to say or do things to make you feel better on your crap days? how do you help an empty shell without becoming one yourself? i feel so helpless. ive been feeling very strange lately. lately ive been continuously attempting a good change. and i must say it does feel good. but i was right about one thing. once you change one part of your life, other parts will change too.. everything affects everything else. you'd think that this change in me over the past few months would produce other good changes in other aspects of my life. and in fact, it was supposed to.. although part of me is a lot happier than i used to be, part of me is also a lot sadder. something's gone missing. i feel alone these days. the good thing is, i am now capable of being happy with other people. the bad thing is, theres still a sense of loneliness, if you know what i mean.
when i dont have the strength, im just a mirror of what i see.