Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Dear friend.

I'm not quite sure if you still read my ridiculous blog. And I'm not quite sure you still care enough to. I know I'm not perfect. I know that I don't deserve this. In high school, you always told me things were okay. You never disagreed with anything I'd say while I ranted or asked for your advice. You never told me whenever you thought I was wrong. You just let me live in oblivion. Either that or you fed my neediness. Nodded your head and echoed me, saying he was a selfish jerk. Tell me something, does a good friend comfort and protect from pain? In other words, does a good friend say euphonic phrases and hide truth from it's victim? I don't get it. What did HE do to deserve truth? Or better yet, what did I do, NOT to deserve it? Was it the period of time we mutually ignored each other? In those months did he somehow manage to pull ahead in this race for your honesty? I'm begging you to correct me if I'm wrong, but I was never a bad friend. I was there for you when you needed it, and I indulged in all your joys. Sure, I'm not the greatest friend ever to exist, but who is? I did everything I could. Think you could say the same? What did I do to deserve your excessive over-protection or kindness? There's no real substance between us. Not anymore, at least. You've filled the space between us with faux feelings. WHY? Oh, and don't say I'm caught up in the past because this is still the present condition: you're still fake with me. I'm not sure if that's even any better than the nonexistent relationship I have with a girl I once knew. At least she isn't teasing me. We can either turn this gray area black and white, or continue to deny there's a problem and avoid confrontation. Last time I checked, it's your turn to make a call. Oh wait, what turns? ..That's right! I'M the only one between the two of us that has made ANY calls. So, what are you gonna do?

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